This blog post is split into two parts and discusses the emotional and psychological disorientation that many expats and internationals experience after moving abroad. This is part of an identity transition – a process of rediscovering who you are becoming between cultures.
Part One: Living Abroad and Identity
By Kathrin Humphrey
Moving abroad changes everything — your surroundings, routines, and support system. But few people expect how deeply it can also change how you see yourself. What happens when your old identity no longer fits, and the new one hasn’t quite formed yet?
The Expat Experience No One Talks About
From the outside, living in Austria can look enviable: new places to explore, exciting career opportunities, and the appeal of being “international.” Yet for many, the reality often feels far more complex and lonelier than it appears.
You may have left home voluntarily, even enthusiastically. But along the way, something shifted. The version of yourself you knew, the one that felt courageous, capable and confident, doesn’t quite show up in this new life. You may find yourself asking:
• Who am I, really, in this new place?
• Why do even small tasks feel so hard sometimes?
• Why do I still feel like a foreigner — even after years in Austria?
These questions reach the heart of identity, and they are more common among expats and internationals than you might think.
Losing the Context That Shaped You
So much of who we are is reflected back to us through our environment — our language, social cues, humor, and cultural norms. When you move abroad, those mirrors suddenly change.
In Vienna, everyday interactions may feel different:
• Small talk feels awkward or brief (not only because it’s in a different language).
• Austrian work culture may be confusing (oh, those hierarchies… and titles!).
• Your sense of humor doesn’t always land the way it used to.
These shifts can be disorienting and exhausting. So, it’s not just about adapting — it’s about losing the external reflections that once confirmed who you were.
So, moving to a new country is a biographical change that has a significant impact on a person’s identity. Recognizing this as an identity transition— rather than a personal shortcoming — can be an important first step. And it may lead you to ask a different kind of question: Who am I in this new country? Or maybe even “Who do I want to be here?”.
Still a Stranger — Even After Years Abroad
Time doesn’t always dissolve the sense of distance. Even after years in Austria — competent in German,
well-integrated, enjoying life — many expats still don’t quite feel they belong. Life feels a bit heavier in
Vienna than back home, as if something remains slightly out of sync.
This persistent disconnection isn’t about language or effort. It runs deeper — a kind of emotional
distance from your surroundings, where you don’t feel entirely at home, perhaps not even fully at home
in yourself.
This is a very human response to displacement. And it deserves recognition, patience, and care.
The In-Between Self: No Longer There, Not Quite Here
Over time, another shift often begins. Returning “home” can feel strange, even disappointing, while life in Austria may still not feel quite right. You’re caught in a space between worlds — not fully there, not quite here.
This in-between space can feel lonely, but it’s also fertile ground. You’re not failing to belong; you’re becoming someone who belongs differently.
Many internationals gradually develop a hybrid identity — one that doesn’t try to fit neatly into a single culture but honors the richness and tension of living between several. For some, this becomes a bicultural identity, a sense of belonging to two cultural groups at once. Others form a transcultural or third culture identity, which emerges through connection with multiple cultures and reflects the blending of cultural boundaries. Still others experience a transnational identity, shaped by living in different countries at various stages of life, each leaving a lasting imprint on who they are and where they feel at home.
This Isn’t the End of the Story.
If this resonates — feeling a little lost, or like a version of yourself you no longer fully know — please remember: your identity is evolving. While this process can be uncomfortable, many expats and internationals in Vienna share this journey of rediscovering themselves between cultures.
So, this is not the end of your story. In fact, it might be the beginning of a deeper understanding of who you are becoming.
In Part 2 of this series, we’ll explore how to stay true to yourself while adapting abroad, how language
shapes identity, and how you can reconnect with your sense of self, even in unfamiliar soil.
This blog post was written by VFN Member Kathrin Humphrey. Kathrin Humphrey is a counselor working with English-speaking internationals (individuals and couples) in Vienna, a coach supporting scientists, and also a student of psychotherapy. After living in different countries on four continents, she moved to Austria in 2013 a bit reluctantly and started to feel at home here, in no small part to the great people she met through the VFN.
www.kathrinhumphrey.com
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